I will begin with ascendant, followed by descendant rather than immune coeli. The coelis will go afterwards. Axis principle is important in understanding how either asc-desc axis or coeli axis work so it would be inappropriate to split them.
To put it in one simple sentence: ascendant is a mask we all wear. Unless your natal Sun is in the first house and in the same sign as ascendant, then you are honest to boot who you are. Ascendant is a pretend personality that shells our real selves from the world. We unconsciously use this personality to get by in the world.
However, why do we wear a mask? Why pretend to be someone we are not? The answer to this question is complicated. Danna Gerdhard in her article about ascendant and first house mentioned that ascendant are traits that you learn in early childhood from your parents. That is correct, but it also overlooks why do we learn these traits.
Parents, educators and other such parent like figures often have a certain idea of what their children or pupils ought to be like. At best it is based on their honest understanding what the kid is naturally like. At worst it is a dedicated desire to impose one's values and believes on the kids, no matter if they like it or not. That is something they call parenting.
That sometimes puts children in unenviable position. No matter how much they dislike what their parents and teachers tell them, they have to at least pretend they learned "the right thing" at least to avoid punishment if they do not find it sensible. It's not like your parents will listen to your views if you tell them their views and values are senseless. Believe me I tried. All that achieved is them doubling down on "educating" or brainwashing me on what is right or wrong.
Then you grow up and your parents are no longer there to push their views down your throat, and you are free to be yourself, right? Turns out not exactly. Old habits die hard and while you will likely easily get rid of the things you found the most affronting to your core views, many other smaller and less significant traits will stay with you a lot longer, some might even last your entire life.
These traits will then continue to serve the same role as they did in your family, hiding your true self to shelter you from perceived disapproval of society and resulting criticism or even punishments. Whether these fears are justifiable or not depends on what your parents or educators taught you and the kind of people you interact with. However, all things equal, you instinctively stick to a safe option with consistency of Pavlov's dog. Yes, you are always free to be different to spite parents or for any other reason, but 90% of the time you will not. Unless there is something important at stake in any given situation, you will often play it safe and stick to usual.
If you compare relationship between planet in signs and ascendant to an organization, then Sun and Moon are like the board and the executive team. They sit in their comfy offices far from human eyes and make all the important decisions for the organization. In contrast ascendant are field rank and file employees who deal with customers daily. They have no power in corporate hierarchy, but they are constantly visible and a company's face of sorts. In the same way ascendant has no say in any decision you make, when you actually paying attention and not acting reflexively.
Because of that first thing people see about you is ascendant. You personally see yourself as Sun and/or Moon, act and think like Sun and other planets, but other people more often than not see you as your ascendant. For most people, ascendant is all they will ever see about you. Most will simply not get a chance to know you better, even if you are willing to show them your other sides.
However, for some mask becomes a burden they could not get rid of. Sometimes one can outlive most of ascendant and develop their new personality, other times mask of ascendant is so glued to your face, that no one except yourself knows what the person behind the mask is. However, no matter how hidden they are behind the mask, Sun and Moon always seek to express themselves in their own way.
While near everyone has a mask, their strategies of using it differ. For example, some are open to friends or other people they trust and stay guarded with outsiders. Others act one way publicly and another way privately. Others use anonymity to express their real selves without repercussions from outside world as so on.
Ascendant is the biggest reason why people get disappointed and disillusioned with each other. People are shallow after all; they see a few superficial traits and think this is the person they are looking for. They do not realize it is only a mask and not their real self. Sometime will pass before they realize that that was only a mask and an actual person is very different from what they imagined them to be.
Ascendant is the most visible part of every person, but it is a mistake to judge people by their ascendant. Ascendant does not govern motivations values or aspirations, so it's unreasonable to expect someone to live out their ascendant. When someone does not live up to your perception of them, it's not their fault, it's your mistake for not realizing they are not what they seem to be. Humans are complex creatures that more often than not do not look what they really are.
Remember, the more important decisions are, the less role ascendant plays in them. Sun is the supreme authority, not the ascendant. As you get to know person better, you eventually encounter, their Mars and Venus, then Mercury, then Moon and finally Sun. If you cannot get along with these bigwigs, then your relationship is doomed to fail.
For an individual outliving ascendant and reshaping outer shell persona into something that works for them is often a very important pre-requisite to improving one's life. What used to work in the childhood does not always work in the adulthood. At the same time, shedding it all instantly and just being spontaneous self can be a bad idea as well. It's not at all clear, what of the things you learned in childhood are nothing but parents' and educators' gimmicks that have no weight in the world and what are the things broader society actually looks at.
Your spontaneous self needs socially approved forms of expression that would allow it to get what it wants rather than attract undue attention or opposition.
At the same time, you need to outlive traits that block this self-expression. Parents might wish to block some or many of your traits because the way you grew up were not to their liking and they wished to change you.
I personally rather struggle with my Virgo ascendant, legacy of my parents' evil wish that I care more for people around me and not only about myself. What they taught me amounted to total disregard for my personal needs and I could not abide it. This is something I do not want to do. I do not care for others, but I also do not know how to assert my self-interest in a way that gets me things I want rather than provoke opposition from people around me.
Not everyone has the same problems with ascendant however, in addition to having it in the same sign as Sun, there are also good chance to have ascendant make good aspect with one's Sun and Moon. People with such placements will likely have more positive view on ascendant, seeing it as extension of their personality rather than a mask, they hide behind. They are also more likely feel that aims of their parents and educators are same or close to their own.
Ascendant is a mask one wears. An outer shell that hides and protects one's real self. Ascendant is something that other people notice first about you. It however is not one's true self and can be very far from one's real personality. Ascendant is a reason why people who judge other people by their outer traits often get burned. Do not judge book by its cover or people by their ascendant.
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